Saturday, November 22, 2008

FILLING IN THE BLANKS?

God, so often I fill in the blanks for you. I'm a choleric personality which means I'm always set on go and my mind is always one jump ahead. The problem is that this is a characteristic that I don't really appreciate most of the time. I tend to finish the thought for people, usually at least not outloud, except for Lindell :). But when it comes to serving you Lord, it gets to be a real problem when I fill in the blanks instead of waiting on You, because then I run ahead and leave you behind. I am not a patient person, which is again part of that choleric personality, the way you made me. I can try to slow down but my mind is resisting and it fights me.

One book I read one time said that this is a hurry sickness :) and I can totally relate. The old saying "the hurrieder I go the behinder I get", sometimes is so right on because if I'm not careful there are a lot of do overs.

Right now I'm so trying to not go there in thinking about this weekend. We are trying out for a church and I'm torn between wanting it and being excited, not sure if it will work out, and also part of me doesn't want to stay in CA for various reasons. In Walking With God John Eldredge says that God uses our disappointments to draw us to Him. "To wean our hearts from every other perceived source of life, so that we might come to find our life in him." I am so wanting my heart to be His heart, to let it not be about me and my wants.

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